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. . . I know it’s been a while . . .

. . . . . . so much has happened during the last year . . . and that most of these experiences and feelings are culminating in trying to clarify my direction for the future is no easy task.

Sometimes . . . when trying to stay positive;  which – as we all know – is the “preferred” state of being;  it’s easy to sweep  some of the negative stuff under the rug . . .

. . . at some point, however, you will have to remove the rug to get rid of all that dusty crap!

Such is how I am experiencing these few remaining days  before my 60th birthday.

Having been born on the Summer Solstice is not an easy date for being born. In fact, in one book that I read (and later discarded) said that being born on this day was especially unfortunate.  Some days, especially during the last year, I’ve felt this just might be true.

Overall, however, I find that I have indeed been blessed in so many different ways.

I am so fortunate to still have parents to go home too after all these years.  I wish I had more to give them at this stag of my life.  Without them, I really do not know where I might be right at this moment.

I have a roof over my head . . . and am hopeful for the future – more or less.

It’s hard staring over at this age. With practically nothing.

Severely lacking in self confidence does not help . . . and though I do have a lot of confidence in my knowledge and abilities . . . this self confidence was not nurtured as frequently as it could have been in the last 30 years or so . . .  even to the point of questioning if I had ever had my self confidence really nurtured – at all.

Trying to overcome this feeling of inadequacy has been the most difficult of all.

At this stage in life . . . no matter who or where you are – you feel a need to access  the past  60 years of your life.  If you’re fortunate . . . life is a bed of roses . . . no worries . . .

. . .  but that has not been my fate thus far . . . but,  then . . .

I’m only 60 . . . lol . . . , almost . . .

 to be continued . . .

The beauty of a blog that nobody reads is that I can pretty much put it all out there . . . to the Universe . . . with some – a few – witnesses . . . and I am grateful to all those who do subscribe . . .  thank you for listening.

Here I am . . .

Doesn’t seem like its been that long since I last posted.  Yet, so much has happened in these past 2 weeks that is most definitely changing my life forever.

No longer in Florida, I sit tonight in my new home . . .  my Dad’s work shed, converted into a rather large studio apartment.

The trials and tribulations of packing all my worldly goods . . . moving them . . . unloading and now unpacking them has been an adventure . . . to say the very least.  Regardless of the size, 14 years of amassing much of the many things I love . . . is now filling the space up . . . and . . . for most part –  in the most delightful way!

To add to the chaos of the adventure . . . getting to really know my Dad does provide some of life’s real tests.

I know that, as a woman . . . over the years , we begin to not only understand our mother’s more, but we see a lot of her in ourselves. Sometimes it frightens us, yet . . . there is a comfort in knowing that what we discover in  ourselves comes from a source that loves us.

I’m not sure all of us see that same perspective from our fathers.  Maybe it’s just me . . . but I do see a lot of myself when I watch my Dad do all that he has the past week.  Getting older now, I can see the frailty of age on the most vigorous man I’ve ever known. A vigor still very much alive.

Understanding more fully my connection to my parents has been a deeply spiritual awakening.

It’s hard to believe I’ve only been here a week.  In many ways . . . it seems like I never left.

Coming home.

Nothing has gone as planned.  Not that I had really planned anything . . . but certainly not expecting what I’m in the midst of!  So far, its been a Murphy’s Law adventure . . . and most everything that could go wrong has . . . but,  at this stage in life, I’m just going with the flow.  Changing the things I can, accepting the things I can’t.

Early on in this dilemma . . . I could see that all this was in answer my prayers. Do I like how the universe responded . . . no, not really . . . but this was probably the quickest, surest way to bring about the necessary changes my life needed. So I accept it knowing that what lies before me is indeed far greater than what I’ve left behind.

Hopefully I will exceed my greatest expectations.

Time . . . and patience . . . will tell.

Writing is a pleasure for me. Most of the time I have so much rolling around in my head that its hard to stay focused. Writing helps me focus.

I’m a very private person . . . and to me, my conversations with God are between me and my Creator. Since I began writing out my prayers . . . I have found that I can more easily express what my heart has to say . . . and I can remember the conversation.

But tonight . . . I’m sharing my wishing moon prayer . . . I don’t know why . . . but I have a strong feeling I’m suppose to.

October 13, 2012

Dear Lord ,

I thank you for this day and for helping for me accomplish all that I have done to release me from my old life, in preparation for my future.  Guided by your love, I know that what is ahead of me is far greater than that which I am leaving behind. Open my heart and guide me with your wisdom . . . so that I may share all that you’ve shown me of your creation and how deeply important all of it is to the happiness of all mankind. Help me to understand more fully my connection to our mother Earth . . . from which you formed each and every being that dwells upon it.  On this night, one of my wishes is that I will be able to touch the lives of others with your ancient wisdom  and their hearts will be open to the spiritual force you have imbued within every thing.  Help me also to remember this and understand more fully.  As new people enter my life, I wish for you to bless them with your love and guide me to do the same.  Open my heart to those who oppose me  . . . so that perhaps their hearts may open to your love.  Help me to respect the many different ways others come to you.  Bless too, my family. Watch over them and keep them safe from harm.  Bless them with an abundance of love, good health and good fortune.  Not knowing what the future will bring . . . I wish for your guidance in knowing what to do to sustain myself while living on mother earth . . . work that will have meaning, for myself and others.   I am so grateful for all that you’ve given me and for the wisdom you’ve shown me.  Thank you too for watching over me and keeping me safe from harm. May your love guide me all the days of my life.


Sometimes I miss them.

But tonight was the perfect night for lighting my little outdoor fire pit, and think about my future.  As I’m finishing packing for my move back home to North Carolina, tonight turned out to be a lovely opportunity to get inspired thinking of all the possibilities I have available for my new beginning.

As fate would have it, I was unable to photograph the event due to my camera lens locking up . . . a problem I did eventually find a solution for.  Not wanting to spoil the mood of my Gate of Inspiration meditation, my instincts told me to just enjoy the fire and think . . . and make a wish or two for the future.  Being able to talk with God . . . the Universe’s Life Force . . . can be a wondrous thing . . .

Along the way on my spiritual journey, I learned of a special time of  year  when the universe gives us a little window of time . . . an opening . . . a gate on which to meditate on what inspires us.  Found on Steve Nelson’s website Gaia Astrology ,  I’ve come to enjoy reading his moon magic section.  On the topic of the Gate of Inspiration . . . he has this to say:

Gate of Inspiration, Oct 12-13 (6:40 pm – 6:40 pm) – Dance and Be Free

“A Muse Gate opens every 40 days, 9 each year. The witch queen Cerridwen stirs her caldron for a year and day to brew the “greal” of  Inspiration. Nine maidens alternate their breaths to keep the magic fire burning, each maiden is a Muse. Whatever is blocking energy flow comes before the Gate to be let go. This is a time to release body tensions that hold old ways of thinking and feeling. Breathe deeply and move freely (dance!) to shed the old and open to the special magic of this new time.”

Also being the time of a wishing moon, it felt like the most perfect time to think of and wish for what’s possible ahead of me while asking for help in letting go of the many fears and self-doubts I have.

As I connect more and more to the energies of mother earth . . . the more strengthened I am . . . even though my once lovely garden is now overgrown with weeds . . . it welcomed me on this, one of my final evenings here at my home of the past 14 years.   The frogs . . . who have been silent now for many weeks . . . began croaking again . . . earlier, before sunset . . . several birds had gathered on the wire overlooking the garden . . . a lovely amber-colored butterfly  flew out of the flowers while some of the birds sang . . . yes, this would be a perfect night for expressing my appreciation for teaching me so much during the past three years while encouraging me to continue, at my new home.

Preparing my fire pit for an evening’s festivity is one of my favorite things to do.  I still have some small branches from last year’s Yule tree . . . I savor them during my fires at special times throughout the year. Many other dried herbs and flowers that I’ve saved go into it as special offerings of thanks for the beauty they brought into my life as well as to draw more positive or release negative energies of one variety or another.   I have an old stool without a seat, that I use to set the pit on while I load it with these garden treasures . . . and it is quite beautiful to me, even unlit.

It always amazes me how the wind responds to me in the garden.  I’ve had times when I thought surely it would be too windy for a fire . . . and then, the moment I step into  the circle . . . and light the fire, it calms.  Even more wondrous is when, after asking a question . . . a short gust will blow, as if answering my request.

Magical moments.  Spiritual moments.

While there is not much I will miss here in Florida . . . losing my garden is my greatest sorrow.  I’ve spent many magical moments there . . . and I want to carry those lovely memories with me to my next.

Having many very long branches from trees I pruned early in the spring, now dry enough to burn . . . I placed them around the pit . . . letting the tips burn . . . then pushing it into the fire to keep it going.  Just before coming in for the night . . . I took them out and let the tips cool. I’ll use them again tomorrow and will bring the ends with me for the fire I’ll prepare to dedicate the space for the new garden I will soon be working on . . .

Inspired by the hope of a brighter tomorrow . . . the fire blazed strong and clear.  A good sign.

Leaving behind the troubles of the past . . . and heading toward a new uncharted future is both exciting and terrifying.  On this night, however . . . I am comforted in knowing that this end, while not how I imagined it would be . . . was an answer to my many prayers.

I am grateful.

I would be remiss if I did not write about this eclipse. This Annular Solar Eclipse. May 20, 2012.

In real time I am sitting here waiting for the moon to make her way to overshadow the sun. It’s 6:24 pm EDT; and though it’s not visible here in Florida, I’m waiting to watch it at the SLOOH SpaceCamera web site.

The first location to see the full Eclipse began at 6:06 pm. According to, the moon will be at the maximum point at 7:54 pm EDT.

Just before the maximum,  in several sources the New Moon is officially New at 7:47 pm

May be back later . . . getting my garden ready for the evening.


There is really nothing quite as beautiful as being able to watch, on a lovely clear evening in the garden, Mother Moon as she reaches fullness.

Weather and time often make it difficult to enjoy this magical moment.

Which, of course . . . makes the ones you can memorable occasions. I enjoy celebrating the full and new moons, around a fire in my garden. Now, seedlings are maturing and the garden is beginning to form.

Throughout the year . . . so far . . . I’ve shared all my triumphs and losses with Mother Moon . . . she’s one great listener.

Try it.

With Love to All . . .


I liken my own personal spiritual path to a long vacation trip . . . where there are many stops and lovely gift shops.  I go into different areas of my spiritual interests and look around. I may or may not find something I want to keep for myself, but its an adventure all the same, seeing the many gifts they have to offer.

There are many such shops on the path of metaphysical philosophy.  Places that offer lots of gifts.  A spiritual path full of lovely colors, sights and sounds that connect me with Spirit. Practices that let me get actively involved with understanding my purpose on a deeply personal level.  My gratitude for Divine Spirit having led me to this path increases every day. My gratitude too for the wonderful, world wide web . . . for bringing me all this lovely knowledge.

In one such place on the web, I was exposed to the concept of the Gates of Inspiration.

I first learned about these gates on Steve Nelson’s Gaia Astrology website.   Well versed in a variety of ancient astrological and mythological viewpoints, he puts it all together in a very practical, easy to understand way.  The phases of moon being central to my own practice,  I especially love the moon magic page as an almost daily starting point for focusing my energies.

There are nine gates, called Muse Gates by Mr. Nelson and one opens every 40 days. The one that opened today is ruled by the moon, my own ruling planet and remains open until May 1st at 12:45 am EDT.  This timing event occurs on the eve of May Day . . . a cross quarter day marking the mid-point of the Sun’s progression between the vernal equinox and the summer solstice.  By this time, seeds planted earlier have started to sprout and grow and is a time celebrated by many pagans as the beginning of a bountiful period of growth.  It is a day for fun and for enjoying life.  A day to sit, dance and sing in the garden and let the sun shine into your heart and soul with thanksgiving.

This gate is of a particular importance to me as, according to Mr. Nelson, “Whatever blocks creative flow comes before the Gate to be let go. This is a time to dissolve body tensions that hold outmoded ways of thinking and feeling. Breathe deeply and move freely (yoga, tai chi, dance!) to shed the old and be present to the blessings of the new.”

Today, the sun is shining . . . and I’m starting to gear up for my own personal celebration.  My garden is growing, and some of the flowers are blooming. Inspired, I already feel my creative energy stirring.

May all your days be filled with child-like wonder.






I guess being a moon child, born into the sign of Cancer, makes me more sensitive to its phases.

I find that I am inspired by the moon. I sometimes don’t understand why others aren’t. Especially other women.

If it is true “there are no coincidences”, then the fact that a woman’s cycle follows that of the moon was, perhaps,  in some sort of divine plan.

Crescent New Moon April 23 2012

I like believing that.

Perhaps that’s why I find the moon the perfect focus point for meditation, prayer, whatever . . .

I must say I’m having a lovely moment on my journey.

I hope you are too.



Night in the Garden . . . April 1, 2012

Today, I’m tidying up the garden in preparation for my night in the garden. I’ll be writing more later but felt the urge to send this out into my universe early

Tonight we’ll be able to see the first signs of the new moon’s waxing crescent. A time for planting the seeds of thought for our new ideas and projects. Great night to meditate.

One of my favorite web-sites is Gaia Astrology. You won’t find your daily horoscope there, but you’ll find some useful monthly timing information. Like this:

Crescent New Moon, Apr 22 -27 – Time to Sow

It’s time to bring forward what we wish to be realized. Farmers plant seeds when the crescent appears, seeds are fertile on every level. Moon magic is strongest Sunset to Moonset when the Moon is in the 7th House. Meditation now opens doorways, wishes take wing and prayers bring blessings for this Moon and year. Crescent Moon with Jupiter and Venus brings abundance and love. Whatever we plant in our inner garden grows and flowers for many Moons. All new beginnings are favored.

Steve Nelson is the writer and offers an interesting astrological perspective for all to ponder.


In the process of creating a series of self-discovery classes, I started writing this as a sort of spiritual bio. Planning to use this blog as an online gathering spot for upcoming classes and events . . . I decided to share it with everyone.

May you all be blessed with Spirit’s love and protection. Now and always.


The Abstract Spirit . . . a gathering of seekers

Though I was raised in an alternative Christian religion, I do not belong – officially – to any. Meaning,  I never made a decision to be baptized.

While all around me, kids about the age of 12 made that commitment . . . I just wasn’t ready.  Some scriptures that impressed me as a child were “seek and you shall find” [truth] . . . and “you will know the truth and the truth shall set you free”.

At one point along my journey, I also studied Judaism with the intent of converting. I must say this, I learned more about how to follow Jesus doing so. Can you really be a follower of Jesus if you don’t fully understand Judaism, in a personal way?

My view of religion, then as well as well as now, is that is does not set you free.  Organized religion is too often distant from spirituality . . . and if you don’t “toe the line” of their interpretation of God’s rules and regulations . . . then, well . . . you probably know the rest.

While scripture says: “do not judge, lest ye be judged”, because of the each religion’s interpretation of scripture . . . judgment occurs on a regular basis. It’s built into their script to be judgmental of others who do not believe as you do, or make religious “mistakes”.

I saw at an early age the hypocrisy of religious ideals and practice.

These words of scripture had a most profound effect upon me.  How could I actually know what truth is if I didn’t look at all the ways people all over the world claim to have found it?  Blindly accepting a religion because it is a family belief is not seeking at all.  If you hold dear the words of scripture, then it is a call to examine, or seek out, all possible roads to truth.

Religion is the middleman . . . the wolf in sheep’s clothing.  In my opinion, it’s like trying to find a short-cut to God; if I do this and don’t do that I’m OK . . . I’ll be saved.

But when you pray, you are in direct contact with our Creator.  It’s just the 2 of you.  You ask and you will receive according to your faith. Having absolute faith is belief without question. No Doubt. And there are many, many people who have this kind of faith . . . this one faith . . .  all over the world, in every religion.

Our world today is permeated with fear. Yet scripture says, “Fear not, I am always with you.”  Fear is a sign of disbelief in the Creator as protector.  Religion spews plenty of things to be fearful about.

So, it seems – to me – that cultivating faith in your instincts and personal beliefs as well as your Creator is more important than having it towards a religion.

Spiritually broadens this relationship.  Having a conversation with God, The Creator, is a wonderful thing.  Creative Spirit is a very good listener. Finding ways to foster this relationship is what The Abstract Spirit is all about.

I do not believe that our Creative Source chose one group of people out of all creation to bestow the bounty of life on.  That would be like a parent having to choose only one child, and discard the rest.  I don’t know about you, but I could never do that. I love my children. Even though they are very different from one another, I love them and desire the very best for all of them.  I believe our Creator sees us as his/her children and is connected to all mankind.  Touching the lives of every culture throughout history who have interpreted  and honors this connection in their own unique way.

We have much to learn.

How fortunate.

I thought there would be of thunderstorms. As it turns out . . . the chance, according to TWC on the web, only 10% chance of rain.

I so enjoy my fire-side chats with Spirit  under a full moon.

Tonight it seems as if I’m playing peek-a-boo with Mother Moon, with all the cloud cover and gentle wind.

Tonight, the first night waning after yesterdays full moon . . . the first full moon of the new zodiacal year . . the time to certainly thank our Creative Source for the bounty we have in our lives.

Tonight, however, is a night for letting go. By the fire I sit. Thinking.

Thinking of the things I need to release, let go . . . all those things which hinder me.

Into your hands Great Spirit.

May Your sunrise bring peace, love and freedom to all mankind.



I always seem to be more energetic during the waxing of the moon. Each night rising later and later, bigger and brighter  . . .  it seems to keep me on track. Knowing that I’m in a period of increase as it is getting closer to its fullness makes me work just a little bit more to do the things that will allow me to make progress toward my goals. Being able to use the moon as a focal point to speak with Spirit about my fears and dreams and ask for guidance has been a very rewarding experience.

Since connecting with the energy of the sun and moon’s phases, I have found  a sense of order in my life. A time to do everything under the sun. While you could liken the new moon phase to Yule, the winter solstice . . . it’s now, at the spring equinox, the sun’s 1st quarter, that we celebrate new beginnings. Time for our New Year’s resolutions to take root. Time to start making our dreams come true. Time for our best ideas to be born.

The sun is rising higher in the sky, the days are growing longer and warmer.  The trees are budding in their lovely pastel greens of every hue. The early blooms of daffodils and tulips, red buds and azaleas popping up everywhere, pushing aside the gloom of winter and creating a a kaleidoscope of color in our landscapes.

And our hearts.

This new beginning, this fresh new start gives us a sense of renewal after a long, cold winter.  We welcome the birth of a new season of growth with a healthy sense of optimism. Breathe deep . . . hope is in the air. It’s time to awaken and let Spirit guide you.

While many cultures celebrate the vernal equinox, which may or may not happen near a new moon,  Passover and Easter are observed during the 1st full moon after the equinox.  This season of the year seems to have a global, if not universal calling. Transcending all cultures and religions.

As I enjoy the connection of the season with the moon phases, it seemed most appropriate for me to begin this new yearly cycle at the 1st new moon nearest the vernal equinox.  A time to meditate and focus my thoughts on what is missing in my life that I would like to find this year.

I was most fortunate that the weather, which had been rainy . . . cleared and I was able to prepare my little fire-pit with a variety of dried gifts from my garden.  As I worked the past few months, trimming foliage from a variety of magical plants in my garden, I placed them in my drying basket . . . just for this occasion. The dried petals from the new Camelias I planted earlier this year, flowers kept and dried from family occasions throughout last year were added. As I trim and save all the branches from my Yule tree for use throughout the year as kindling, I put some in. The aroma of pine clears and purifies my garden sanctuary.  My sacred space.

It was a most magical evening.

Moving forward, the first full moon of the new zodiacal year is just a few days away . . . Friday, April 6, 2012  at 3:18 pm, EDT.  Every year starts with the sun in the sign of Aries . . . the ram, head lowered and charging blindly through.  Which makes the 1st waxing new moon, also in Aries this year, the perfect time for putting into motion the actions toward fulfilling our hopes and dreams. Any time up to the moment of its fullness is a time to make wishes and dream your most magnificent dreams. The last night waxing is a most potent time to do this.

At its fullness, it is a time for gratitude and thanksgiving for all that we have and all that we have accomplished. A time to give thanks for the people who have, in one way or another, entered our lives and made it better.

This year I am truly grateful for finding the missing link to my personal spiritual evolution in the writings of Jessica MacBeth. I stumbled upon her website on Sun Magic, Moon Magic, Lunar Cycling, Solar Focusing many months ago. As I merged her simple approach into my own spiritual practice I began to connect with Spirit in a way that made everything else more clear.

What I find particularly lovely in the grand scheme of things, is that we’re given 3 months to think about what it is we want in this next cycle. From winter solstice til the spring equinox we’re given plenty of time to mull things over. The cloak of winter stratifying the seeds of the past cycle that will come alive as the sun continues to wax full.   I am grateful for this time. Laying to rest that which no longer serves me and dreaming of what I’d like my life to be.  Planting the seeds of hope and fresh ideas and knowing Spirit is listening.

During that space of time we also plan and prepare our gardens. Cultivating the soil, tending to the perennials that survive even the worst of conditions, plucking out the weeds that would threaten the seeds we wish to plant.  The garden is the perfect metaphor for what we need to do within ourselves to prepare for the coming months and years.

I have watched, by day,  the results the light of the moon has on my little seedlings. Seeds planted last fall are now sprouting and seem to double in size overnight. I eagerly greet each day by watching them grow.

As the sun continues to wax full, I look forward to many nights in my magical garden gazing at the moon and speaking with Spirit.

Hope to see you there.

Best wishes to one and all for a bountiful and beautiful new year.

May all your dreams and wishes come true.


I don’t write in this blog often . . . but when I do, I have something to say that will hopefully carry me onto the next leg of the journey.

Here we are, the 1st of April still feeling the charge of Aries pushing us into a new yearly cycle.  I’m sitting in my garden, with new things sprouting up all around me and enjoying the fruits of my labor of the past three months.

Last year I didn’t spend much time in it. I kept busy making mushroom ornaments and garlands. Besides, last year, here in Florida we went from extreme cold to extreme hot overnight. There were no mornings of cool to get a lot of work done.

This year, however, was perfect. Cold in January and February, but not so cold that a good bit of hard work wouldn’t warm you up comfortably. March too, though toward the end it was beginning to show signs of summer. Even now, at 8:47 pm, it’s almost too hot to have a fire, but the temp is starting to drop and a I’m starting to feel cozy.

I love my little make-shift fire-pit . . . made from the lid of an old kettle type bar-b-que grill. It’s perfect for those new and full moons when the weather is cool and dry.

My garden is my sanctuary. It’s my place of refuge, my safe-haven. This year, I have a new lap-top thanks to my husband, and a very long extension cord. No longer tethered to my desktop,  its a glorious place to sit and ponder life in this universe.

This year Spirit, working through two friends, has encouraged me to broaden my horizons a bit. I do admit that I am a happy hermit . . . happy to be alone with my own thoughts about my spiritual path. While I do enjoy the company of others, I often find that the beat of my drum is a lot different that other folks. So I’m content beating my drum as I please.

Metaphorically speaking that is.

I live in a suburban environment where my prayers are not said aloud in my garden . . . there are ears all around. And my prayers are between me and Spirit. The last 2 times I’ve tried to play music aloud in my garden was met with the neighbors behind me bringing out their music system and blasting me away.  With music that wouldn’t soothe a savage beast.

So, the ipod it is. Though I must admit, it would be nice to have a background of music when my friends come over.

Would love to start a drum circle, but I don’t think that would go over so well.

Anyway . . . back to broadening my horizons.

My friends, who are interested in all the same things as me, have encouraged me to share some of the things I know about.  Based on some of the classes they’ve taken at a local metaphysical shop, they feel that I know so much more.

I hesitate as I do not consider myself an authority on anything. Everything I do, or know, is really just reading and researching and applying adaptations of different approaches to my own personal spiritual practice.  Doing what feels right for me.

Last night, I happened across this question and instruction in a lunar report from one of my favorite astrology websites:

“Do you have a short written statement about the chief purpose of your life? It is time to read your statement. Write it, read it, and put it inside your wallet. Stay focused on what’s important to you.”

Being in a waxing moon period, and thinking about creating a series of classes I could possibly instruct, I thought that it was a good time to stop and think about this. To clarify my intention of purpose.

I’ve done many things in my life, but at my age, starting anew in any one of them has proved to be contrary to what the universe wants me to do – apparently!  We won’t go there . . . we’ll just move forward to what I’m supposed to do now. . .

So, here it is:

My Brief Written Statement about the chief purpose of my life:

“I am here to share that which I’ve learned about how to have a practical, magical, spiritual life and how to connect in an individual way to the bountiful energy of the Creator of all-that-is.”

I still can’t believe I said that! It is just as powerful for me today as when I wrote it last night. My greatest fear is that I am somewhat lacking in what I know . . . I know only what’s right for me. Can I somehow convey this to others in a broad enough scope?

I know that while I’ve come far on this journey . . . others are just beginning, or are  just as befuddled as I was in the beginning.  There are just so many different spiritual paths and practices within the metaphysical realm that it is sometimes overwhelming to find what feels right.

It would be nice however,  to share what I have learned with the hope that it may help others feel closer to Spirit.

In many ways, it does feel right.

At the age of 57 I’ve learned much on this journey of my own, deeply personal, spiritual path and continue to welcome new discoveries along the way.

These intense personal revelations seem to occur most often just after visiting my family in North Carolina. Home, I’ve learned, is where we must confront and clarify our past with our currents beliefs.

Having taken an alternate approach to my relationship with God – my Creator, and having to confront the beliefs of my family in a most sensitive way causes a deep reflection into where I’ve come from and where I’m going. After all, what we come to believe as truth is based on the sum total of all our experiences.

One of the most profound lessons – or revelations – I received from my recent trip was the understanding that the world is consumed by fear. Fear imposed from the many different belief systems that exist.  From the pulpit to the late night news, we are globally bombarded with reasons to be fearful. TV shows spew it forth as if candy, ready to be devoured. Yet it is the poison that produces the stress and unhappiness so many people feel.

I am grateful that I am no longer fearful, for the most part. If all the claims of doom are correct, there is really nothing I, alone, can do about it.  There is probably nothing anyone can do, even as a group. (Though I do entertain hope that may be possible.) Yet I am comforted by my belief that life on this earth is just one – hopefully – very long  experience, and that it will continue in another form when this existence ceases.  All one can do is live your life according to the principles you believe in and ultimately treat others as you, yourself want to be treated.

I pondered the question and then the answer of Eckhart Tolle, “What is the opposite of death?” When I’ve asked people this question, most reply quite simply “life”. Yet, when you consider that birth is really the opposite of death, you begin to see life as a state of consciousness, and personally,  I do not believe life dies. It is eternal. Always has been and always will be. We’re simply its temple made of stardust.

Yes, there are horrible ways to die. We fear them. For the most part, these most horrible experiences would not – could not – be imagined without us being  exposed to them in our visual media. How often have you thought to yourself : “How could someone _______.” – (you fill in the blank).

Unfortunately, these unthinkable acts of violence enters our psyche on a daily basis.  However, I find comfort in knowing that when our last breath is taken, we suffer no more the pains of this material existence. No matter what the final circumstances of our life may be.

Who we are, who we become and the experiences we encounter are in large part based on the things we fear.

When you choose to accept those things you cannot change, changing those you can – teaches the wisdom which allows you to live according to your own understanding or belief in the positive nature of God and His/Her Universe.

If you believe in the possibility of the law of attraction, then you can see where living a life consumed with fear can bring you situations you hope to never dream of, and – most importantly – do not desire. Sadly, fear often lies hidden underneath our conscious perceptions.

One of the truths I learned in my youth is from a biblical scripture in which our Creator says:  “Fear not, I am always with you”. Our choice is to believe it or not.

Trust. The ultimate act of faith is trust. Didn’t our childhood lesson of Doubting Thomas teach us that? “Ask and you shall receive.” Believing that – without doubt – is perhaps the most difficult exercise of faith we’ve been given.

Therein – perhaps – lies the nature of my discovery. The admonition to “be no part of this world” could very well be to not allow myself to live my life in the uncertainty of fear. To trust in my Creative Source as my Creator and protector.

The peace which comes with relinquishing fear is a precious gift. A gift I hope for and wish for everyone.

dandelionYes, I know New Year’s Day was about two weeks ago, but the Chinese New Year is just around the corner. I desperately want to start that one out with “good chi” flowing around my home and my family.

In the front of our house is an island with palm trees and other plants that I’ve too long neglected. It’s a constant reminder of a landscaping project gone wrong, and while I have, on occasion pulled weeds and such – I’ve never had the heart to face up to my regret over one of my most costly mistakes.

The island isn’t the only thing I’ve neglected.

Is it any wonder that our life situation, as well as my own personal view of it, seems to have deteriorated simulataneously with my own neglect of what once was a most beautifully landscaped island.

The island seems to represent, in some way, my feelings about a lot of things.

In Feng Shui, the front of the house, most specifically the north area – affects career matters, and we’ve certainly experienced problems with those. My husband works for two weeks at a time away from home, and is home only briefly for a couple of days then back to work. When he took that position, we believed that it would be at most 2 years, but it’s now been 5 and counting. Almost as long as I’ve neglected the island. Not to mention that I’ve been unable to find work myself – even meager positions below my education level.

So, I’ve decided it’s time to clean up the island. Couldn’t hurt, and I know my neighbors will be really happy!

There are plants in the island that I truly hate – they look ragged all the time. One is a popular plant called lirope. When freshly planted and thriving it can be beautiful. Yet, when winter comes, many of the leaves that die are intertwined with the new growth that spurts up and is very difficult to clean up and maintain without a lot of work. I never wanted the lirope in the first place – but the landscaper insisted it would be fabulous! Yeah . . . right.

There’s also plenty of weeds. Many I have no idea what their names are. The most invasive one is called “moneywort” (I think), and if it is (metaphorically speaking) the reason our money is drying up as rapidly as it seems to spread, then it definitely has to go!

Another plant, which I do like, is the variegated ginger. But I’ve never been sure how to properly clean up the dead and cold damaged leaves so that it’s true beauty could shine year after year. I’m going to equate this with our finances, which I’ve not taken part of as seriously as I need to.

So out I go this morning to the island, where my intention is to make it ready for a new period of growth which will restore it to it’s real beauty.

Pulling out the weeds of neglect, removing the plants I abhor and cutting back those plants I love of dead leaves and branches so that the new year brings us a beautiful fresh new period of optimism, hope and abundance.

As I pulled the weeds, I felt a new sense of direction. I was finally taking action on a problem that I had indeed neglected, just as I have in other areas of my life. This new feeling does seem to have motivated me to tackle other areas of my life I have too long ignored.

Pulling out those damned lirope plants – the best I could, was also liberating. Getting rid of those things I hate, that just don’t work for me any longer lifted my spirit. At this stage in my life, I have lots of “stuff”. I’ve been de-cluttering for the past 20 years, and it seems the more I get rid of, the more there seems to be! This year is going to be different.

I vowed a long time ago I would never have another yard sale. You end up giving it away anyway, so over the years I’ve always made trips to a variety of charitable organizations to unload some really good stuff. The deductions have served us well.

Yesterday, thinking about this, I remembered that in the same small shopping center where I have often donated lots of stuff, there was a consignment shop. Curious, I looked them up in the phone book to discover they carry a lot of home items, but no clothes. That’s unusual. But really good, as I still have loads of great stuff I’ve packed away, want to get rid of, but have felt were items just too good to give away. Maybe I can make a little money without wasting time and avoiding the heartache of a yard sale.

Okay, yes I could try to sell it on eBay, but that is a road already traveled – and not one I’ll travel again. The only people making lots of money on eBay is eBay.

Metaphorically speaking, I have a lot of other personal issues I need to pull out as well. Let’s just say, I’m working on them and leave it at that for the moment. . .

While I still have lots more weeds to pull, I’m going to be diligent in getting the job done before February 4th, which I believe is the Chinese New Year’s day this year.

Tomorrow, according to information I found about gardening by the moon, I’m going to prune two overgrown trees in the “wisdom” section of our property.

I certainly could use more of that.

snowypathyou will know the truth, and the truth will set you free.”

John 8:32

No matter how far I think I’ve come, I know I still have a long way to go.

It must be the time of year that’s roused a need to reflect on just where I am on my spiritual journey and how I got here.

Christmas being a time of peace, love, joy and goodwill toward mankind and Hannukah – the Festival of Lights – commemorating the triumph of religious freedom have both molded my view of religion, belief and spirituality.

Even though neither were celebrations I grew up observing.

It’s been a long journey, with many twists and turns, yet I know that one should never be too confident in thinking that they have arrived. Is there even a point of arrival, a place where the search ends?

Christianity teaches that the end may be heaven for some people, and if you survive the “wrath” of God’s Armageddon – eternal life. While searching for truth, I found that as my journey progressed my desire for religion waned.

While I have always felt deeply connected to my Creator, I have never found any comfort in religion. I’ve always felt like an outsider looking in, rather than a welcomed participant. No matter how I much I longed for inclusion, and tried, it seemed like the impossible dream.

I’ve had many conversations with God about this. Even though I did all of the talking – I always felt He was listening. Forever believing in the words “do not judge, lest ye be judged”, all I seemed to find at churches and synagogues was judgment. Perhaps it was God who allowed me to see this contradiction as part of the truth that set me free.

Today, I see religion as simply a mechanism which teaches with “Cliff” notes in order to control the group. Instead of allowing the truth to be revealed in its own way to each individual, religions have their own interpretation of the way- the one and only way – God requires us to believe in Him. A one size fits all approach and if you don’t “fit” by ascribing to their philosophy and their rigors of observance, you are not one of the “chosen”.

In today’s modern society some religious groups have become more tolerant of other points of view. This seems to be a step in the right direction. Yet each one, when you get right down to the nitty gritty of their core belief, still hold themselves and their way of believing as the absolute and only way to salvation.

At this moment in my journey, I simply cannot – will not – see this as truth.

I believe that our Creator – the I Am That I Am – is the Infinite Source of all that is. I believe that this source has touched every thing and every one on the face of this earth and beyond. To believe that the source of all creation would select only one group to bestow salvation betrays everything I believe God to be: merciful, loving, compassionate, and forgiving – just to name a few. I believe that we – each and every one of us – as a vital part of His creation, are valued and loved. Whether we choose to believe it or not.

As a parent who loves her children unconditionally, I cannot see how – if we are God’s children, He could love all of mankind – His creation – any differently. My children complain, they don’t always do what I ask them, and sometimes do things that really make me mad. As they’ve gotten older, they don’t always agree with me. But I still love them. I don’t think there is anything they could do that could ever make me not love them or wish them harm. That is how I believe our Creator to be.

A long time ago, when explaining to my mother why I no longer believed in the religion of my youth, I quoted the bible as saying there is only one faith. This has long been held as the indefensible proof that there is only one true religion.

But faith has no religious boundaries.

The belief in One Creator of all-that-is permeates even those religions viewed as multi-theistic. I know people of many different religious philosophies who live their lives with faith in this belief. Good, honest, people who lives their life with a deeply founded faith in their belief that you’ll find is no different from one religion to the next.

I think the question of faith lies in what it is you have faith in. Is it a sincere faith in the goodness of God and how we have been instructed to treat others? There is a form of the “Golden Rule” in every religion. Or is it a faith based in the fear of the “wrath” of God? That is a troubling question, as many are led into and held captive to religion by fear.

One of the most fearful scriptures for me as a child was the warning to “beware of the wolf in sheep’s clothing”. I have come to believe that religion itself is this wolf we need to be wary of.

Over the years, I have sought to understand many different religious avenues. The words “seek and you will find” was a directive to explore in order to decide which way was the true way, I needed to understand them all – or at least expose myself to their concepts and pursue those which sounded true for me. By using the gift of freewill, I am always free to question and decide for myself. By examining these different paths, I can see where God has touched them all.

What I have also come to see is that religion really has little to do with spirituality although it is a term traditionally believed as belonging to it. Spirituality is a more deeply personal connection to God, that transcends any religious doctrine.

While I currently have no formal religious affiliation, my reflections on these issues have helped me clear my mind to see the important lessons of the Christmas and Hannuka season.

There is a warmth in the ideal of Christmas. Of giving, though it seems the receiving if far more important to a lot of people. Although it is a Christian adaptation of pagan celebrations to honer the birth of the Messiah, it does seem to encourage goodwill and joyousness in many of us. If nothing else, it causes me to stop and show my appreciation for the man known as Jesus, who walked his talk of the “golden rule” by example – even to those shunned by many in his day as unrighteous – with kindness, patience, tolerance, acceptance and love. May I celebrate this holiday doing my best to follow his lead.

Let me also appreciate that “pagan” – though thought of as evil – is nothing more than the rustic religious beliefs of anyone not Christian, Jewish or Muslim – from which many of their beliefs originated from.

Hannukah provides me with the opportunity to celebrate the justice in fighting for the right to believe and worship your own brand of religion. Just as the Maccabees triumphed over those who would prevent them from worshiping God the way that their faith guided them, so too shall I celebrate this triumph by honoring and respecting others who have beliefs different from my own. May I uphold and promote the rights which allow all people to worship and believe the way that is right for them. May I stand up and fight against those who would deny us this right, or seek to force their views onto those who differ.

Let me too, see those things – within all religious beliefs – which are good, and of “good report” as messages meant for all of us. Meant to bring us together rather than divide.

May this season be a joyful one for us all.

twistedpencil_sm1Two polar opposites procrastination and intention.

Intention implies a willful declaration – whether written or mental – to do something. A fact before the fact. If you think of anything you do, no matter how trivial, you must utilize some form of intention.

I want a cup of coffee. I’m going to go and make me a cup of coffee. You get up and do just that.

On the other hand, procrastination is quite different. You want something, but you are unwilling to commit to making it happen.

I want a cup of coffee, but I don’t feel like making it myself. I don’t feel like going to Starbucks. I’ll get one later – I don’t need it now. It can wait.

Everyone has these moments, but what is important is how powerful our intentions are in achieving what we want. So how do we get over the hurdle of procrastination?

This morning, I really wanted to write in my blogs. I truly enjoy them, they are my friends. But I just couldn’t seem to get motivated or think of something that stirred my passion or my interest. I simply can’t write from the heart if I don’t have passion. An excitement about sharing my personal thoughts on something I care about. In a way I hope will be helpful to someone reading my work.

So, I started roaming the blogs. Since I was having a bit of trouble getting started, I did a WordPress search on writing. Two blogs had something to say that truly resonated with me, and along with a search for hot topics in the world today – got me started. The fire was lit.

So motivating were the blogs, I want to share some of the things I learned from them. The first one, Hafiz’s Class Blog: East Meets West. had a post titled “Encouragement/Motivation on Writing”. This article has a lot of great information about motivation for writers, however it was what he had to say about procrastination that really hit the mark for me:

“If procrastination is an issue in your writing life, and you’d like to overcome it, try to understand the root cause of it. Procrastination experts say that there are six main reasons why we put off things: 1. We’re bored. 2. We’re afraid to write; our low-self-esteen makes us doubt our talent. 3. We’re easily distracted by things around us. 4. We’re just plain lazy. 5. We’re overwhelmed by the task at hand; it’s just too big to tackle. 6. We just don’t like the work. When you truly understand why you’re procrastinating, you can do something about it, especially if writing is important to you.”

These six reasons can be applied to anything in your life – they’re very profound. I can see one or more of them as being the cause of many projects I continue to put off till tomorrow.

Seeing the causes so clearly allowed me to reflect on why I have put off doing come things that I really need to do.

Then I came across another blog titled The Power of Writing Things Down. Now this article doesn’t specifically state intention, however, it does clearly detail how powerful writing things down can be. It’s truly worth a read, for many reasons.

It’s a fact that people who make a lot of lists – who write things down – are the same people who get a lot of things done. Writing about the things you want to do is a clear statement of intention. And if you don’t let any of the reasons why we procrastinate get in the way – you’ll make progress toward everything you want in life.

But how does that work? Why does it work?

Our intention or our tendency toward procrastination is what fuels our subconscious mind. Everything we see, think or experience is being recorded there, and influences our daily thoughts and actions. Writing things down clearly fuels this part of our brain, and whether or not we remember all the things we’ve written, our subconscious mind is working on it, directing us to opportunities that help us achieve the things we want to accomplish and the things we desire.

If you saw the movie “The Secret”, you’ll see that is it the power of intention that is one of the keys to opening the door to the law of attraction. You can’t really rub a magic lamp and wish for all the things you desire. You have to know, with certainty what it is you want.

Clear thought and self-confidence are two of the most important components to achieving anything you want in life.

Ask anyone who has achieved some of the things you are wishing for.

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