. . . I know it’s been a while . . .

. . . . . . so much has happened during the last year . . . and that most of these experiences and feelings are culminating in trying to clarify my direction for the future is no easy task.

Sometimes . . . when trying to stay positive;  which – as we all know – is the “preferred” state of being;  it’s easy to sweep  some of the negative stuff under the rug . . .

. . . at some point, however, you will have to remove the rug to get rid of all that dusty crap!

Such is how I am experiencing these few remaining days  before my 60th birthday.

Having been born on the Summer Solstice is not an easy date for being born. In fact, in one book that I read (and later discarded) said that being born on this day was especially unfortunate.  Some days, especially during the last year, I’ve felt this just might be true.

Overall, however, I find that I have indeed been blessed in so many different ways.

I am so fortunate to still have parents to go home too after all these years.  I wish I had more to give them at this stag of my life.  Without them, I really do not know where I might be right at this moment.

I have a roof over my head . . . and am hopeful for the future – more or less.

It’s hard staring over at this age. With practically nothing.

Severely lacking in self confidence does not help . . . and though I do have a lot of confidence in my knowledge and abilities . . . this self confidence was not nurtured as frequently as it could have been in the last 30 years or so . . .  even to the point of questioning if I had ever had my self confidence really nurtured – at all.

Trying to overcome this feeling of inadequacy has been the most difficult of all.

At this stage in life . . . no matter who or where you are – you feel a need to access  the past  60 years of your life.  If you’re fortunate . . . life is a bed of roses . . . no worries . . .

. . .  but that has not been my fate thus far . . . but,  then . . .

I’m only 60 . . . lol . . . , almost . . .

 to be continued . . .

The beauty of a blog that nobody reads is that I can pretty much put it all out there . . . to the Universe . . . with some – a few – witnesses . . . and I am grateful to all those who do subscribe . . .  thank you for listening.

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